I Don't Want to Talk About It: How EMDR Heals Trauma Without You Having to Retell Your Story

If I had a dollar for every time someone walked into my office, or logged onto a telehealth session, and said, "I want to feel better, but I can’t talk about what happened," I would be a wealthy woman.

But more importantly, if I had a dollar for every time I told them, "That is okay. You don’t have to," I would be a happy one.

There is a pervasive myth in our culture that healing requires a confession. We are taught that to "process" trauma, we must detail every painful, humiliating, or terrifying second of our past to a stranger. For many of you reading this right now in Indianapolis, Carmel, or anywhere across Indiana, that requirement is exactly why you haven’t made the appointment.

The fear of the retelling is often worse than the pain of the holding.

As a trauma therapist, I want you to know something that might change your life: Your brain does not need your mouth to heal your heart. You can process trauma, resolve PTSD, and reclaim your peace without ever having to tell me the details of your story.

Here is the science of how we do it.

The Science of "Speechless Terror"

Have you ever tried to speak when you were truly terrified? The words don't come. You stutter, you freeze, or your mind goes blank. This isn’t a weakness; it’s biology.

Research into the traumatized brain has shown us something fascinating about Broca’s Area, the part of the left frontal lobe responsible for translating personal experiences into speech. When a person is triggered or recalls a traumatic event, brain scans show that Broca’s Area frequently shuts down. It goes offline.

At the same time, the right side of the brain, which holds images, emotional intensity, and body sensations, lights up like a Christmas tree.

This means that trauma is often stored as a feeling, a smell, a flash of color, or a tightness in the chest, rather than a logical story with a beginning, middle, and end. When traditional talk therapy asks you to "start at the beginning," it is asking you to perform a task that your brain is temporarily offline for. It forces you to drag those raw, sensory fragments across the bridge to the language center, which can feel like reliving the event all over again.

Enter EMDR: The "Blind to Therapist" Protocol

Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) is different. It doesn’t rely on you overly explaining the event to me; it relies on your brain’s natural ability to "digest" information.

In our practice at Think Well Live Well Counseling & Telepsychiatry, we often use the "Blind to Therapist" protocol. This isn't a trick; it's a specific, research-backed method designed for people, including first responders, abuse survivors, and those with deep shame, who need privacy and dignity above all else.   

Here is what a "content-free" session actually looks like:

1. The Setup: We sit together (or meet virtually). I ask you to bring the difficult memory to mind. You don't tell me what it is. You might just give it a code name, like "The 2010 Event" or "The Red Folder."

2. The Process: You focus on that internal image or feeling. I guide you through "bilateral stimulation", this might be following a light with your eyes, listening to alternating tones in headphones, or tapping your shoulders.

3. The Check-In: After a set of processing (usually 30-45 seconds), I stop and ask, "What do you notice?"

4. The Answer: You don't tell me the story. You simply report the shift. You say, "I feel a tightness in my chest moving to my stomach," or "The image is getting blurry," or "I just feel angry."

5. The Release: I simply say, "Go with that." And we continue.

I don't need to know the details of the shipwreck to help you swim back to the surface. I just need to help you keep breathing while you do the work.

From Technicolor to Black & White

So, if we aren't talking about it, what is actually happening?

Imagine your traumatic memory is a movie playing in your mind. Right now, it’s in IMAX 3D, Technicolor, and Surround Sound. It’s loud, it’s bright, and it feels like it’s happening right now. That is why you feel panic, sweaty palms, or a racing heart when you think about it.

The mechanism of EMDR, specifically the eye movements or tapping, taxes your brain's "working memory." Your brain cannot hold that vivid, high-definition horror movie in place and track the eye movements at the same time. It has too much to do.

As a result, the memory begins to degrade in quality. It loses its vividness.

• The colors fade.

• The sound turns down.

• The screen gets smaller.

  
  

By the end of the process, the memory hasn't been erased, you still know what happened, but it has turned into a small, black-and-white photo in an old album. You can look at it, acknowledge it, and put it away without it hijacking your body. 

A Message to Indiana: You Don't Have to Carry It

I know that here in the Midwest, we pride ourselves on resilience. We work hard, we take care of our families, and we don't complain. But resilience doesn't mean carrying a backpack full of rocks forever.

Whether you are dealing with a past assault, a combat memory, childhood neglect, or the deep gloom of Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) that hits us every Indiana winter, you deserve to set that burden down. We can treat the urge and the pain without forcing you to speak the words that hurt.   

At Think Well Live Well Counseling, my philosophy has always been: "Your current situation is not your permanent destination."

If shame, secrecy, or the simple inability to find the words has kept you from therapy, let this be your invitation. Come in, sit down, and we can heal the hurt without ever speaking its name.

Ready to Start Your Healing Journey?

You don’t have to carry this alone any longer. Think Well Live Well Counseling and Telepsychiatry is here to help you navigate trauma, anxiety, and addiction with compassion and privacy.

Book a free consultation with Becky VanDenburgh today.

• Booking link: www.therapyportal.com/p/thinkwell46222 

• Phone: 317-500-4789

• Services: EMDR, Telepsychiatry, Trauma Therapy, Addiction Counseling (LCAC).

• Serving: Indianapolis, Carmel, Fishers, Lawrence, Greenwood, Greenfield, and all of Indiana via Telehealth.